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Recently, I was invited to participate in a panel on singleness at a Christian conference. I shared my experience as a single woman pastor and how single clergy can feel isolated in a church culture where marriage is the default. It was the first time since university that I had an honest, direct, public conversation about singleness in the church. We hear countless sermons about marriage, but singleness is not often addressed publicly in Christian communities. When I do talk about my experiences as a single woman, I usually talk among my friends, not in my church. At a recent seminar I attended on pastoral health and wellness, speakers highlighted statistics showing the impact of ministry stress on married pastors and their spouses and children. But what about single pastors who hold this stress alone? Where are we in these statistics? Women pastors are already underrepresented in most studies on clergy. Data on single women pastors is virtually non-existent. I also want to be judged as the minister I actually am. I care deeply about the ordination process within my denomination.

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